Today it's another confused patient. He's mostly concerned that he's gotta go potty, despite his Foley, although for a while he was very upset I wouldn't let him have a dog. Sigh.
Last night the tiredness hit me at the end of the night like a ton of bricks. I didn't get much of an afternoon nap but I wasn't feeling too bad until 4am, when I went to draw labs and just couldn't. I don't know what the problem was, really, aside from the fact that my patient was soooo shaky. Usually I give up after 2 tries and ask someone else for help, but the guy wasn't with it and I was determined so I tried it again... major fail. Because I was so tired, I almost started crying. That, on top of the choice 4 letter bombs I was dropping, create the professional picture of today's modern nurse. You know; tired, cranky, and prone to emotional outbursts. Hah.
That end of the night tiredness happens a lot, actually. I can usually gauge it by how long my morning report is. More rambling = more tired. When I see the day nurse's eyes start to glaze over, I know it's time to wrap it up, finished or not. Also, I like to take the stairs down to the parking lot, but it's four flights down, which is a lot of winding around and around. On more than one occasion I have found myself at the very end of the stairs in the the basement, needing to climb back up to my exit and not sure how it got past me. When I first started working in the ICU and was constantly feeling overwhelmed, I would routinely be surprised by the door to the parking lot in the stairwell, as if it had materialized out of thin air right then. Good thing there are no snakes in the hospital. I hope. Don't even ask about the drive home.
Still, I can't help but think that I would be equally groggy at 5am if I had just woken up, the disadvantage there being that the shift would just be starting rather than almost over. maybe it's not my less-than-succinct report that creates that glazed look. I'm going to have to go get another cup of coffee and ponder that. Well, that, and what kind of dog would be best suited for a combative alcoholic in restraints.
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